Yo Pinocchios.
Why is being honest a debilitating challenge to many? The fear of revealing our personal truths or blunders are too much to bear… We often succumb to our own pieces of fiction, then it transcends to reality – like drowning in our own creation of deception. Eventually people forget about their lies and usually the response goes something like, “I never said that”. Holy, so defensive.
I myself had lied many times in my teenage years, especially to my mother. Since I couldn’t apply biblical passages into my life, I had no choice but to whisper only those words she wished to believe in. I blatantly made this same mistake a few years ago to an acquaintance. And even though it was the silliest and caused no harm, I felt dirty and rotten for being a degenerate liar. There, I admitted a part of my sins… So I took a bath in the holy water of guilt and took an oath to exercising the virtue that will guide me to the stairway of heaven one day. And my mother approves.
Now we all know that deception comes in different scales for different reasons. Bella DePaula, a lying specialist who wrote a book titled Behind the Door of Deceit, says we lie one out of three conversations. That’s 1/3 of the time! She also points out three types of lies:
Kind-hearted lies to spare someone else’s feelings or to make them feel better. Fyi, “dinner was delicious”, “you look nice in that outfit”. Bella says if you care about someone, you are more likely to tell them what they want to hear.
The more common ones that people spin are the self-serving lies. The liars are acting in a self-centered way in order to make themselves look or feel better or get what they want.
Then there are those who have certifiably mastered the art of deception, and they are indeed prolific to a point of imaginative. Their stories are strategically refined on the blue print… Bella states these people are more likely to tell serious lies to the people they care about the most. Spouses, parents and other people we feel closest to are the ones who have the highest expectation for us. Therefore it is especially a challenge to tell them that you have fallen short of their expectations. Sigh.
The real danger is when lies inflict distrust and hurt on others. More often than not many liars do not recognize this as a form of abuse nor do they take responsibility for the damage they have caused. The neglect in being accountable means no redemption, therefore their words will forever be tainted with zero credibility.
To be continued…
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